November 2020 I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Based on previous symptoms, and the large number of lesions on my brain, it became evident that I’d had it for some time and was misdiagnosed previously. 7+ MRI scans later and an immense amount of stress in choosing treatment, medical bills piling up, and following up with other doctors on my debilitating fatigue and a liver cyst found on an MRI, all felt bigger and bigger as it piled on and made the regular stressors of everyday life feel immensely overwhelming.

When you see a doctor, they find what’s wrong, and they fix it. Or at least that’s what I kept telling myself. But there is no cure for MS. Treatment helps prevent new lesions from forming, but it doesn’t heal what’s already there, and it doesn’t completely stop the progression.

So without fail I thought about this almost non-stop and worked hard to come to terms with this new turn my life had taken. This is a part of me.

Around the time of this diagnosis I finally got this figure in the mail that I’d ordered many months prior. I had intended to use him for something with his red core representing his life blood, but I had no concrete images planned. And then the image ideas came. An MRI machine being a teller of fortunes, the building blocks of coming to terms with a diagnosis, losing and coming back to yourself, a pounding heartbeat and tight chest in times of stress, thinking about your brain way more than you ever have before, weaving stories and art through the damage of the nerves in your brain. This figure is me and his struggles and enlightenments are mine.

More art pieces are to come, including some paintings involving my MRI scans. One slow step at a time.

Oct. 26, 2020 First Brain Scan