My grandpa served on the USS Remey during its world tour. My great grandfather was a Marine and then in the army. My job that was to end in October is going to end next July instead. I have maybe ten photo series and YouTube videos and blog posts planned. I had a bad cold during a week out of town that was supposed to be a vacation but I don’t earn PTO. I’m seeing a Functional Medicine specialist to fix my fatigue so now I’m on an elimination diet to figure out what’s wrong with my gut instead. My car suspension needs replaced. Wolfgang died two months ago and nothing feels quite right.
Was that a lot? There’s more, but I’ll leave it there. It feels like a lot here too.
My ADHD and resolve keep me moving between one research project to the next, whether family history or work based community research, one idea to make extra money to the next, one restructuring of my life outside of work to make time for art, then the next.
I want to make art. I plan and I start set building and then I get sick again, or something with life implodes, like losing my beloved baby, my kitty, who’d been with me my whole adult life.
I am here. I am working. But my humanness often impedes my stride.
And so I am always trying to find the balance, to find me, and each day I get a little closer.
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