The world is ending, or maybe it’s not. 

I just got married 5 days ago. A couple people asked if the wedding was still on. We’d been planning it for a year and 2 months, paid all the vendors, arranged everything. Of course it was still on. It was definitely a gathering of more than 10 people and we all sat next to each other to eat, we hugged good bye. Nothing was shutting down yet though 5 days ago. No one was telling us not to gather, at least not telling us loudly enough. I will say, while bittersweet, it’s probably for the best no grandparents were able to come to the wedding.

We’ve both had this week off for our honeymoon. We spent a bit more time with family Sunday, returned all the rentals Monday, went to historic St. Augustine Tuesday.

 

Wednesday we ordered some food and binge watched all 8 episode of the Mandalorian.

Today has been much the same, although we did take a walk around our apartment complex. I truly needed to get outside and out of my head for a moment and it seems to have done the trick for now.

I’ll return to work on Monday. Eric’s already been called back into work, since he works in what would be considered a vital industry, or whatever they’re calling it. While for some reason I can no longer get logged into my work email account, the last I read is that they’ll be taking everyone’s temperature as they walk in the door and my first though was that I’d need to get there early to make sure I’d still be able to get to the timeclock on time. I’ve only been at this job 2 weeks. 2 weeks then 1 week off for a honeymoon that is only partially happening, then back in while the world’s still on the fritz. They did say they’re allowing employees to take their sick leave eary, but I don’t even start earning my sick leave until after my first 90 days so I’m not entirely sure what that means for me. Let’s just hope I don’t need to find out.

Headaches, fatigue (from vitamin deficiencies), not drinking enough water and therefore having a dry throat are entirely my norm, but of course I question a couple times a day if they feel slightly different than normal or not.

In no way do I have it bad, and I’m not feeling ‘woe is me’ but I also can’t place exactly how I’m feeling. I like knowing all the details. Every single in and out of what’s going on in any sort of potentially overwhelming situation, and I have very far from all the details. I am happy and in love and also in some sort of still, waiting mood. I normally get such an intense creative drive when I feel I have ample time stretching out before me to pose and play and experient, but none of that’s come in this time off work, because I don’t know what tomorrow brings, not truly, so the time before me is flat. And so I wait.

I don’t mean this post to be depressing or sad, just a quiet reflection, thoughts, in some way, many of you might be feeling. We are purposefully distanced, but we are still fully in this together. Text your mom, kiss your cat, and find what joy you can in these strange times.

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Tourmaline .

Photographer of miniatures and writer on all things small.

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